cloud passing by

I had a cloud

I didn't want it but it came anyway

and now I am glad 

I had it

I felt it

I was it

now I always feel more sun behind the clouds

the cloud was dark and heavy

lurking just out of reach

always felt but never seen

always there but never proved

hard to explain to people, listening or not listening

hovering on the edge

of an unkind word, a sad memory, a simmering pain

slowly the cloud lifts
clinging to a thought, a habit

moves here and there

returns unexpected

until one day it is gone

the heart expands instead of squeezes

the soul longs for new instead of needing the familiar

it is 

connecting to music without drowning

finding words forming together from joy, not pain

finding the courage to be vulnerable

it is wanting to create instead of to consume

it feels like

cycling with the wind in your back
telling a story to a really good listener

smiling in the dark to no one

it feels like the opposite of loneliness