Problems and prejudices

The news over the last couple of days has made it abundantly clear again how many people are prejudiced again mental illness. People do not understand. People do not want to understand. Mental illness still has the stigma of crazy drooling people in mental institutes with straightjackets. And " if only they would just get their act together, instead of moping around, they would soon get better." Yeah right... Instead of sticking your head in the sand and pretending bad things never happen, I would encourage people who think like that or who have been so lucky as to never experience it or who are pretending nothing ever happened to them to talk about it. It is not taboo. Most people appreciate the fact that you are willing to talk or to listen to them in such a difficult time. Sharing of experiences or thoughts and showing or trying for understanding is what matters in those moments. In fact it is liberating. I have had so many close sharing moments with people i randomly met about bad experiences and that can lift the burden of carrying these experiences in your heart. The genuine interest of a partner, a friend or even a stranger can make the day a good one instead of a dreary, sad or depressing one.

Personally I have been the recipient of both physical injuries and mental illness due to various things that have happened to me in recent years. That has taught me that a broken leg, for instance, is something that people can easily sympathise with (at least until you stop walking with crutches). It is visible. Enduring pain however isn't. Depression isn't. Since these things are not visible and it doesn't make for easy conversation people who have not experienced any of these things or have little empathy can find it hard to understand, sometimes also because the ones who experienced it make it hard by saying "oh but you wouldn't understand." Understanding must come and be created from both sides. 

I myself have encountered prejudice in going to seek help with a counsellor for an eating disorder and depression last year. It is seen as shameful and weak whereas I think the opposite is true. It requires courage to come out in the open with your problems. And i would not want to say that going to a counsellor is the only way to get help for mental problems, some people can help themselves through their friends or family, through their faith, or through working through it by themselves. But counsellors are trained to help with mental problems, just as doctors are trained to deal with bodily problems.

source: http://cheezburger.com/7937393408 (thanks for sharing this Sarah!)

People who have problems and say they don't need counselling might imagine themselves as having a broken leg and saying " oh I don't need a doctor, i'll just keep it still for a while and then it will be all better." And yes counselling is not easy. Counsellors will most likely confront you with some aspects of yourself that you might not like so much. In the end, if you are open to this kind of help, you can come out knowing yourself better, understanding your behaviour better and hopefully stronger in yourself and feeling better about yourself. 

I am lucky that most of my friends and family are lovely understanding people who care about me and who recognise the challenging steps that I have made in getting better. Their care and understanding has made my life so much richer. I am unlucky that the milestone in my life, my husband, unfortunately wasn't one of them and left me in this time. Some bad experiences or bad feelings people can not overcome as we see unfortunately every day but you can try. And I salute everyone who has ever tried or is trying. It is a brave and hard thing to do to ask for help when you are in trouble... and to recognise that you are in trouble. So please support your friends or family or strangers (famous or not) in being understanding and not judgemental or belittling either mental or physical (invisible) problems.